Karol Conká told Tati Bernardi in the videocast Sorry Something, by Universewho even planned to take her life after the cancellation she suffered for her participation in BBB 21. The rapper was eliminated with 99.17%, the highest percentage in the history of the program.
“It was thanks to God that I didn’t give up on life in 2021”, he said. “I thought about suicide, I planned it. I got to that level. I said I was going to do it in a way that wouldn’t be a problem for anyone”.
“The person with suicidal thoughts has an infected ego. It’s like ‘my will prevails and I’m leaving'”, he said.
I wanted to end the pain and at the same time leave a message for people. Karol Conká
Karol told how he gave up on the idea. “I thought: ‘If they called me a monkey, they’re going to light fireworks’. So they’re going to have to swallow me”.
She looked for a psychiatrist to start a treatment. “I needed him to say that I’m not a psychopath, and I still doubted it,” he said.
Karol also said that it took a lot of humility to understand the situation and that he had to stay two months off social networks, for the sake of his mental health.
The singer also recalled her participation in reality. “I was extremely irritated at home. But the way editing was conducted, not only on the show, but on the internet [ajudou no cancelamento]. The internet edits are the worst because there’s nothing to do,” she said.
People [do BBB] still get unearthed my image. They came in thinking about not being the new Karol and they end up committing even worse attitudes than mine, but they are not judged in the same way because her skin is white. Karol Conká
“I believe in God. I believe that there needs to be a greater force of wisdom. There is something above our wisdom”, he concluded.
seek help
If you have suicidal thoughts, seek specialized help such as the CVV (Life Appreciation Center) and the CAPS (Psychosocial Care Centers) in your city. The CVV works 24 hours a day (including holidays) by calling 188 and by email, chat and in person. There are more than 120 service stations throughout Brazil.
“I have an affinity with sadness”
Karol Conká talked about dealing with depression as a constant in his life.
The singer said that she always had “an affinity for sadness”. “I have the other side and I’m intense. But on Sunday I had a mini-depression. Every month I have a low point.”
Karol commented that the lack of work often influences his condition. “When I’m not working I feel useless, I feel that life doesn’t make sense, I even lose my libido,” she said.
Singer talked about alcoholic and bipolar father. “I learned to hide my gray emotions from my mother because she would cry in the bathroom. She made it seem like everything was fine, she showed that there were much worse situations than that. So, at the time of reality, I thought I needed to see the bright side of it. everything”, he recalled, citing his participation in the BBB.
Karol recalled that he had his first depression at age 14. At the time, he had just lost his father. “But there’s that thing. For the periphery, depression is something quite distant. The poor don’t have time, because someone has to do something for that house to move forward.”
She said she had never used medicine, although she wanted to and thought it was the solution. “The only time I needed to take medication was when I left the BBB, for four months. I took an antidepressant. I didn’t feel so heavy”.
Karol has an aversion to the victim label. “I can’t stand victimizing myself. If I went through what I went through in 2021, it was choices I made, temperaments I didn’t dose and I managed to analyze the entire national context, see that the whole country, which told me to treat myself, also needed treatment .”
“When the depression is coming, I already start to say that it doesn’t belong to me, to analyze where it’s coming from”, he added.
Boils on the body in “Superbonita”
The singer revealed a curious situation: she presented a program with boils all over her body. At the time, in 2017, she was at the head of “Superbonita”, on GNT. “I’ve already had two boils spread all over my body. I took medicine because it can kill, it goes into the bloodstream. I sat down to present the program and nobody noticed.”
The rapper explained that she got sick because she ate badly and quickly to optimize her time.
a turkish affair
The conversation also went through the subject of relationships, and Karol revealed who his current crush is.
“There’s this crazy guy I met in New York. He’s a Turk. He’s lived there for 16 years and now he’s in Japan. People love to say that I’m lying, that I’m making it up. No, he exists and I have proof. He is ‘ lelé’, and I love it. We met. It was the ‘lelé’ match”, he joked.
“We’ve been talking for five years, and he’s going to Brazil in April. I’m kind of in love with him, I think it’s because he’s far away. He calls me from Japan at midnight, 1 am from here”, he added.
See the full interview:
The program Sorry Something will air on Wednesdays at 8 pm on Canal UOL, on YouTube by Universa and on audio platforms.
