Former president and jewelry collector Jair Bolsonaro created an internet store to sell merchandising. Merchandising is a foreign word for useless trinkets. Technically, it’s future garbage.
It is inevitable that merchandising ends up in the trash, but sometimes it manages to stay in our homes for some time.
Bolsonaro’s store announces right at the entrance that it produces merchandising “with unique quality, for a refined public that values excellence”, and therefore it is not surprising that we see that it sells three types of products: calendars, mugs and what they called the “Table Trophy”.
It is very rare for refined consumers who value excellence to desire another type of merchandise. All they think about are calendars, mugs and table trophies.
The table trophy is a board on which is a silhouette of Bolsonaro and the phrase “Our dream is still more alive than ever”. According to Bolsonaro Store, the piece has a different finish.
But it is not, fortunately, the only differentiated product. Also distinctive is the layout of the calendars, which are made of “premium quality custom material”.
It is possible that those who have a cell phone no longer give much use to calendars, but perhaps they will change their minds when they learn that they are of premium quality.
Personally, I’ve never owned a premium quality calendar, and I have to say I regret it. I believe that my life would have been very different if I had invested a little more in the quality of my calendars.
According to the Bolsonaro Store page, the calendar they sell “is a product that will accompany its user throughout the year”.
Unlike ordinary calendars, and of lesser quality (or even of some quality, but without premium quality), the Bolsonaro Store calendar accompanies us all year round. You know that type of calendar that, around November, gives up indicating the days? The Bolsonaro Store doesn’t do that, thank God, and continues until December 31, obstinate and diligent.
The mugs are made, as it should be, from “excellent quality raw materials”.
When I think of a dream life, I imagine myself sitting at a table, on which is a trophy with a different finish, and I am recording the passage of time in a premium quality calendar, while drinking from an excellent mug. And now that dream is within reach of all Brazilians, for just R$250 plus shipping.
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